both “accused” of killing small children…

and those are not the only kids killed, abused, etc by any means…

pastors, armchair theologians, anyone who has a thought…

explain to me why God lets THIS happen…

all things work for His glory…yada yada yada…I know…

a little girl cried for her mommy before she was taken…

another was killed by her mommy, and didn’t understand…

a family of four kids watched as their father parked a car on a bridge, and one by one, took each of them out, and threw them over the side…because he wanted to hurt their mother…

and this brings glory how?

yes I am mad. I have a right to be.

why create these lives only to take them in such a way?

don’t say so we can learn about forgiveness…

don’t come up with some clever explanation as you gripe about your starbucks or your iphone or twitter…

seriously and earnestly try to figure out an answer…

I bet you can’t…

i struggle to be what GOD wants me to be but I believe that Jesus died and rose for me that I might be made holy by his sacrifice. He loves me inspite and because of myself.

most christians will say they believe the same.

i am tired of christians.

they bicker and argue, claiming they know theology, cite hundreds of passages of scriptures, even more writer throughout the ages. they will actually fistfight you to prove that Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, Orthodox, blah blah blah are right….

there are 7 churches within rock throwing distance of my house. (BTW, don’t throw rocks at churches, that’s stupid.)

here’s a thought…maybe all of the time you spend yammering on about it could be used for something else. if all the butts that fill these church seat, to hear about how GOD wants to bless you financially, would just get up and do the two things that Jesus said “love GOD” and “love your neighbor”, then these things you gripe about would go away. and you would be blessed since you are actually doing GOD’s work.

christian hipsters drive me crazy. you’ve turned christianity into a cool counterculture. you dress kind of like emo bands but you look and act like the world. maybe im nuts but if you were really christian, would you need a tshirt to prove it?

how many pastors/layity have the secret to a happy life with GOD? at least 4 barnes & noble shelves full by my count. and that’s new books. that doesn’t count the out of print. the BIBLE holds truths about GOD, Jesus, and life. undeniable truths. 1000 writers can’t all have different ways of doing it, or better yet why does it take so many to say the same thing?

i know that i am complaining and groaning. if it bothers you, stop reading. but the survey says that america is less christian. look at us. if you knew nothing about the Gospel and all you saw was the christian community, would you really want to be one? if you saw that this was how we represented Jesus, would you follow HIM? have we become just like the bickering Jewish sects in Jesus’s day, so much so that we have tossed the Gospel aside to prove that we’re right?

if you have answers or know someone with answers let me know. if you are offended, then i’m sorry but ask yourself, why am I mad? is maybe a little of that true?

sorry for no blogging…im not that interesting anyways. read a book.

a “real housewife” on Bravo says “It’s only 150,000 dollars!” (referencing a car or something)

i wish i was robin hood. i would gladly redistribute her 150 grand. or rather, her husband’s 150 grand.

but all i have is prayer.

i can only have faith….but its so frustrating that it drives me crazy.

ive been gone a while. im still gone. be back here soon.

im up too late. oregon state just beat usc.

im smiling.

in corvallis, or right now thousands of people are happy.

there will be parties and first kisses, words said that seem right to say now.

just because of a football game.

and i also found alot about haiti, thanks to them and him.

and now my heart is breaking. i want to save the world now.

im sleepy. and when i get sleepy i get sentimental and down right sappy.

which is okay i guess.

i hope you are having an awesome sleeping experience now.

im still awake and wondering.

see you tomorrow.

(side note. i love books.)

i was there by the magazines.

to my left was a man that looked as if the weight of the world had crushed him.

he looked weary with years. kind of like an old blues singer.

his clothes were dirty. and he was just sitting there on the bench, alone, staring off into space.

the verse came to mind “whatever you do to the least of these, you do to me” or something like that.

i thought i was going crazy. i looked at him and when he looked back, i looked away.

it was almost like God was telling me to go talk to him.

but I didn’t.

and I left.

now weeks later, it still bothers me. and that verse comes to haunt me in my thoughts daily now.

you can see it slipping from their heart with each setback that life throws at them.

you give your best words, your best reasons, hoping your words are so full of love and truth that their heart is strengthened, and then seeing it is not enough.

they want answers. you don’t have them.

they want the pain to go away. it doesn’t.

they need God to come and grab them, and tell them everything is going to be okay. but it seems silent.

what do you do when words can’t fix it?

I was gone out to sea for a week. yes it never stops. it was productive i guess.

the bigger news is we have to move because our landlord is selling the house we live in.

its crazy to think that you have to change your life just because someone wants to sell a house.

this was the house my kids took their first steps in.

i was called daddy for the first time in this house.

and i know the memories aren’t made because of a house, but its still a little sad to have to leave.

so friday is the day we move into military housing, which will be action packed no doubt.

more importantly, new memories await.

and all of you are very cool to me. i wish we could spend some time together.

but this blog is the my absolute favorite. hands down.

It is the perfect time to write to. All is quiet in my house. The kids are napping. No TV. No radio.

And I sit here in front of this laptop, wanting to talk your ear off. Because it would be nice if we could have a conversation today, about something.

But I have nothing. There are things on my brain that I want to say but I don’t know where to start. So I won’t.

So maybe a question? How many books a month do you read AND where do you get most of them?

Maybe more will come later. No promises. I’m really not that interesting.

Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I say?

what would you say?

i know what i would say.

the catch…trying to answer this question is the wrong answer.

thoughts?